2016.11.11

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Hey little fighter, soon things will be better.


Hi there little fighter!

How are you feeling today? It’s Friday again… Everyone around town are doing their best to get through the day, in preparation for two days of freedom that everyone’s been longing for all week.

I, on the other hand, just finished writing a big exam. I left the exam room feeling completely defeated. I was overwhelmed with so much emotions that I couldn’t explain. A mixture of almost every aspect of my life (home & school) during the past year related to stress, anxiety, sadness, anger, confusion, etc. I couldn’t reach out to others for comfort. I didn’t know how to describe it. I didn’t want to bother anyone. I thought that I was still strong enough to handle it. Then, I found myself walking mindlessly around town. Suddenly, in a crowded place, I felt that tears were about to fall down. I knew that all the feelings that I had bottled up inside was breaking. I rushed to a washroom while trying to hold back the tears for as long as I could. As soon as I got to a “safe” place, I just broke down. My tears just kept falling uncontrollably. I knew that when I cry about one thing, I also end up crying for everything that was wrong. That was when I finally told myself that it was okay. It’s okay to cry if you’re in pain. It’s okay not to be okay all the time. It’s okay to express how you feel. You’ve been through a lot these past months. You’ve been strong. You’ve held everything together for as long as you could. Cry it out. It’s okay. Just remember that after falling, you can stand up. You must stand up. This is just another stepping hurdle that you must pass. You are strong.

“Sometimes a good cry is just what you need to release all the hurt you have build up inside.”

After that meltdown, I felt much better. It was as if a heavy weight has been lifted off my shoulders. My eyes were very red though hahaha… Anyways, I knew that I couldn’t end the day feeling that way. I believe that one cannot completely have a bad day. It all depends on the decisions you make. I like to think/do –> For one bad experience, find two things you like about that day. Therefore, I decided to find something interesting that will lighten up my mood. I went to find some delicious food & entertained myself by looking at the barbie expo. LOL! It was a good distraction. I was able to return to my normal self after that and see all the blessings that I have. I enjoyed looking outside the window during my long bus ride home. The views outside the bus window seemed so beautiful at that time.

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Tears are words the mouth can’t say nor can the heart bare.” – J. W.

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“Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.” – Confucious

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